SERTUC publications (general)


SERTUC publications (general).

EGGCUPS


NTP:
Want of money and the distress of a thief can never be alleged as the cause of his thieving, for many honest people endure greater hardships with fortitude.

William Blake (1757–1827), English poet, painter, engraver. Letter, 23 August 1799 (published in The Letters of William Blake, 1956).[1]

Memo

To: Russell From: Robert
Fax: Ref: RussellGOODFELLOW25032009.rtf
Phone: Date: Wednesday, 25 March 2009
Re: Eggcups CC:

Urgent For Review Please Comment Please Reply Please Recycle

1)             You failed to return the eggcup you pocketed (without verbal permission) from the lower left-hand food larder on Thursday, 19 March 2009 – nor apologised for its loss:

a)             That evening (c.22:00) you told Chris you took one eggcup – after going through my belongings – and placed two in the right-hand suspended kitchen-cabinet; leaving me with one from a set‑of‑four;

b)             you also (rather angrily) told Peter I was ‘hiding the eggcups’ – although they are my property to dispose of as I see fit. (You could not have thought this if you had not been looking through my possessions). This puts me in the unique position that if I hide my stuff, you can automatically assume I am hiding it from you!

c)             you also claimed you did not know these eggcups were mine – yet, the essential fact is that they are not yours, and I am the only person claiming ownership;

d)             both a) and b) are admissions of theft and of your belief that I am involved in an international eggcup‑smuggling syndicate*;

2)             my title to the stolen item is uncontested; confirming you:

a)             Are a thief, since I cannot legally steal from myself;

b)             believe you possess an unearned right to rummage‑through others’ personal belongings because of i); &,

c)             believe your rights supersede others – because of i) & ii).

It takes moral integrity, self‑confidence & psychological maturity to admit error (especially deliberate miscalculation). And a mind awash with trivia cannot do this.

Regards,


[1]The Columbia Dictionary of Quotations is licensed from Columbia University Press. Copyright © 1993, 1995 by Columbia University Press. All rights reserved.

KITCHEN ELECTRIC METER


NTP:
The savages set up gods to which they pray, and which they punish if one of their prayers is not answered… Victor Mikhailovich Chernov (1873‑1972), Russian socialist revolutionary. Speech, 28 November 1917, Peasants’ Congress, Petrograd. Quoted in: John Reed, Ten Days that Shook the World, chapter 12 (1926).[1]

Memo

To: Russell GOODFELLOW From: Robert BUCKNOR
Fax: Ref: RussellGOODFELLOW17082008.rtf
Phone: Date: Thursday, 14 August 2008
Re: KITCHEN ELECTRIC METER CC: Peter LITTLEWOOD, Landlord

Urgent For Review Please Comment Please Reply Please Recycle

On Thursday 14 August, Peter registered your complaint with me regarding Friday, 1 August c. 22:30.

You’d refused to insert money into the meter while the washing machine was laundering and while I was cooking. Your oven dinner stopped cooking ten minutes early because the meter had cut out: It happened when I began eating. You claim I’d moved the oven timer back ten minutes yet your food should’ve burned: You don’t complain of this nor did I smell burning food a fortnight ago.

Chris watches much more tv than I do yet you never blamed him for your inability to feed the meter. Even though it would be more likely to be him that’s doing it since he has more opportunity to do so and, I dare say, more of a personality to do so.

You never saw me do anything that you claimed I did.

You never complain about the microwave so my alleged interference with your cooking centres on the conventional oven. This, without a single word of explanation as to why I would do this or, come to that, interfere with your food, as such. This was because the microwave is not connected to the electricity meter. Moreover, you never guard your food by staying in the kitchen, which is like complaining about car thieves while never locking your car.

Some months ago, I rebuked your bad attitude concerning your inability to separate me from the inner workings of the cooker. This reproach visibly moved you then yet, a violent temper proves little, you never complained then and you modified your behaviour – a tacit admission you were in the wrong. Interestingly, you often use the microwave to cook your meals, yet never once complained of my interference with this. Obviously because it is not connected to the electricity meter!

You now resurrect a dead issue to conceal your indigence, your desire to try to scapegoat me for your penury and your not tending to your food – all to try to make my position here untenable. Bear in mind the following:

1) You’ve repeatedly badmouthed me to Mr May and Mr Truscott by claiming I’m mentally‑ill;

2) You consume more than 21 units of alcohol per week;

3) You claim we must check with you first before signing for your mail;

4) You threatened to assault me because you allege I look at you “funny”;

a) You had a habit of looking at me sideways whenever I was in the same room;

5) You make bizarre claims about my behaviour, yet present no witnesses;

6) You’ve never been civil to me once since you came into the property;

7) My unwillingness to do you unearned favours annoys you, yet slavery has been abolished;

8) You resist the need to put money into the electric meter to cook your food;

a) You’ve claimed I’d disabled the cooker when it does this itself [see point 9) above].

Background

My reasons for verbally rebuking you some months ago were clearly explained to you at the time. Your inability to understand acceptable social norms is not my business; being no more than the simple product of wilful political deafness and a lack of empathy for others. You changed your behaviour pattern from being one of personal rudeness to me by sending me to Coventry – for which I was more than grateful.

Demanding unearned favours and then claiming my behaviour was ‘unsatisfactory’ and proof that I ‘have a [mental] problem’ for the simple reason I refuse to be your skivvy is proof of your own affective deficits. I don’t do favours (unless asked – and, even then, I might refuse) nor do I grant them. Life is a whole lot easier that way since no‑one owes me anything nor do I owe them – it keeps everyone honest.

The real problem here is your unwillingness to fund your use of the electricity meter as others do – by putting a pound into it every time you use it. Uniquely, you believe you don’t have to do this and have repeatedly discovered, often in my presence, that your cooking is inevitably underdone as a direct result of the supply being disconnected when the meter runs out of electrical units.

Attempting to make me your whipping‑boy will not produce electricity for you – only cash can do this. You’re the only licensee in the property who has any kind of difficulty with both the cooker and the electricity meter – and the clear relationship between the two – although the operation of both is simplicity itself.

Your problems are not my responsibility, my concern nor my fault: Your paranoid/schizophrenic obsessions amused me at first; now they’re becoming rather tiresome.

Kind Regards,


[1]The Columbia Dictionary of Quotations is licensed from Columbia University Press. Copyright © 1993, 1995 by Columbia University Press. All rights reserved.

WASHING POWDER


NTP:
Nothing astonishes men so much as common sense and plain dealing. Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803–1882), US essayist, poet, philosopher. Essays, “Art” (First Series, 1841).[1]

Memo

To: Christopher MAY From: Robert BUCKNOR
Fax: Ref: ChristopherMay04082007.rtf
Phone: Date: Saturday, 4 August 2007
Re: Washing Powder CC:

Urgent For Review Please Comment Please Reply Please Recycle

1) INTRODUCTION: I should have written to you concerning this matter before – it slipped my mind at the time.

2) RELEVANT FACTS: My soap powder was spilled all over the area directly beneath it’s storage location above the kitchen larder. You apprised me of this some weeks ago now; confirmed by another licensee (Thomas TRUSCOTT) powder traces over the cooker. I should now like to point out the following:

a) You were the only person (living in the house) awake and up at the relevant time – early morning c.04:00;

b) The bottom of the washing powder box – wrapped in an orange plastic carrier bag – sticks to the top of the larder. This makes it difficult to move unless one is aware of the fact; making accidents more likely;

c) When asked, by me, you couldn’t explain how this box of powder could have fallen by itself – neither could Thomas TRUSCOTT;

d) The washing powder – given its pushed‑back location from the ledge on which it stands – could not have fallen down without human agency. You tacitly recognised this by asking me how it ended‑up on the floor that very morning;

e) Three out of four green tennis balls also disappeared at the same time;

f) You were drunk the previous evening – confirmed by Thomas TRUSCOTT;

g) Your were the only person laundering on the morning of the spillage;

h) You vacuumed‑up the mess, approximately one kilo of washing powder, at about 4am that morning – I heard someone outside my door moving the vacuum cleaner from the first‑floor toilet at that time;

i) You only questioned me about this mess – no‑one else was quizzed. Thomas TRUSCOTT confirmed this;

j) You avoid talking to me;

k) You are the least tidy person in the house;

l) I’ve done nothing untoward to you.

3) OPINIONS:

a) It’s too coincidental that I’d have to replace my washing powder on the same morning you were laundering your own clothes;

b) It’s rather strange you’d clean up mess you didn’t create.

I hope this note satisfactorily clarifies matters.

Regards,


[1]The Columbia Dictionary of Quotations is licensed from Columbia University Press. Copyright © 1993, 1995 by Columbia University Press. All rights reserved.

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